Tough Love:When is Enough, ENOUGH

Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day.....TEACH him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.....he is no longer hungry. Tough love is HARD....but tough love is also respectful and responsible...It may not seem so when you're in the heat of battle over who will fix things, but by insisting the loved one take responsibility shows that you trust and respect them enough to believe all will turn out for the best. It takes a whole mess of Holy Ghost determination to trust that God is in control of ALL things....including whatever the situation is...YES!!! Even He is big enough for the problem....He can handle it WAY better than you..He knew from the start that these events would come to pass and even so has a plan yet still for all involved. Trusting in the Lord means giving up the fear to Him....letting Him use the situation for growth and for good for all those involved....trusting Him to protect and trusting His timing. Tough love is a clear, concise way of letting someone know what is expected of them and letting them take responsibility for themselves.... If it means they have to fall on their face and suffer, it is a lesson they sure won't forget! Bailing people out every time they get into trouble just makes the person stay dependent and irresponsible and offers no room for growth. Honestly, why even bother to better a situation, if every time things get tough, someone else just shows up to take over and smooth it all out for you? There is NO incentive for betterment there. None. There is a very defined difference between tough love and enabling....Is it better to teach a person the realities of life, such as work, chores and responsibilities, or is it okay to do everything for them so they spend their lives not being able to think or do for themselves? How are they better served? Enabling is oh SO easier.... baby coddling is nice...and it makes us feel like the "good guy"... Short-term, enabling makes you a hero, almost like a savior of sorts...you swoop in and make it all better...this makes us feel so good in fact that it almost empowers and emboldens us... and sadly convinces us it's right to just do the easy route and take over the situation. In the long run, enabling destroys trust and respect. Enabling almost always leads to resentment for both the giver and the receiver. Picking up someone else's mess might be easier when there's a battle over responsibility, but in the long run, who ends up doing all the work ???...have you only thrown the man yet another fish for the day.....or are you finally ready to teach him how to fish ??