I wish I were......

I wish I were _______. Fill in the blank. With whatever. Do you have a mile long list that could fill the one lonely blank? Here's some examples of mine: I wish I were smarter. I wish I were prettier. I wish I was more spiritual. I wish I was closer to God. I wish I was a better mother. I wish I needed less sleep. I wish I could do it all!!! I wish I was taller. I wish I was thinner....and on and on it goes....like an endless merry go round. I was taught from a young age that when you stop trying to be better....to better yourself.... then you might as well be dead. Strive to be THE best in all you do...top of the heap for you...climb those mountain tops deary....um...can anyone say pressure cooker? Scream it if you must....it helps! Whoa....I need some serious deprogramming here. I'm always waiting to arrive but never enjoying, or acknowledging where I'm at. And just whose definition of arrive am I striving for? Just whose voice am I listening to? I believe it's a tool Satan uses to keep us in discontentment with ourselves....something to make us feel less than we are. Sure I can always be smarter and chances are as I age and get more wisdom behind me, I'll be just that much more than I am right now. But I am smart.....RIGHT NOW. I AM pretty. I AM spiritual. I AM close to God. I AM a good Mom. I AM tall enough, thin enough and I sure do a lot....so why do I discount where I'm at right now in time? Why do I do it?.... I seriously don't know.... I'm going to practice...on purpose....because I'm no good at it naturally, and I think it might have been trained out of me, to be more content with myself, not complacent..... but content, it's a BIG difference. God still wants to work and mold and shape me for sure....like with patience. I'm not near patient enough, I know this is a weakness.....especially and mostly with myself. I'm getting better and have learned and grown so much in this area through my four children ~four children will work you HARD in this area ....but I still have to learn to allow myself some patience too.